Kingpins of Bryn Athyn, or How to Get Away with Hatred

A quick explanation first: why do I care about this as someone not in the Church? Well, in short, the community is adjacent to me as a commuter to Bryn Athyn College. Not only do anti-queer sentiments lead to worse lives for queer people who are inevitably born into the community, I am required to take religion classes and attend chapel. It's demeaning to be told how to be a better person by people who hate you for one, but their words also foster anti-queer actions, ideas, and legislation across the country. If you're a member of the church who is happy with their recent stances, and read this and just want me to shut up, by all means advocate for separation of the Church from the town's educational institutions. Note that I enrolled in the college BEFORE realizing I was trans, so please don't paint this as me agreeing to things being this way by attending. It's still bad of course, to be a church that hurts people, but at least at that point it's compartmentalized. And I recognize that might be the limit of what I'm going for here.

A few weeks ago, the bishop in Bryn Athyn, head of the General Church of New Jerusalem to my understanding, published an article openly condemning LGBT people. This prompted a negative reaction from a notable enough portion of the church that a response was warranted. This took place in small groups and one on one meetings. So a new letter was sent out, and my advice? Lower your expectations now, if they existed at all.

Much like the piece by Peter, Derek is quick to be coy in the letter. The language and wording, intentional or otherwise, all is tailored to frame this as a two-sided issue with nuance and topics that people have trouble staying level headed on. The reality is, the people who are upset are reasonably so. There is no debate on whether or not using someone’s deadname, encouraging them to detransition, or preventing them from accessing hormones is good for trans people. There is no debate on whether telling gay people to be celibate is good. None of that is, unequivocally. We all know this, according to sociology, biology, and psychology. But the same conservatives in the church repeat the same thing: “the writings are all that matter, and my interpretation is the only one.” So how is this guy coy? Well let’s take a look.

“I agree.” This is the first part of the article that stood out to me cause it’s like no, you don’t! Y’all have been trying to sweep this shit under the rug since the day this town was constructed. Don’t act like you’re entering the conversation out of your own free will and not because the climate has hit an inconvenient boiling point in your bubble.

I agree that religion can’t be avoided here. I’ve personally moved beyond it, but it is a church and I wouldn’t expect all other LGBT folks in BA to have the same kind of inherit distaste for organized religion as I do. The problem here is the implicit author’s feeling (yes it’s a feeling) that his way is the only way. Mentioning God, faith, and religion is quickly revealed to mean “MY God, faith, and religion, not any queer person’s.”

He says “There is anger and fear on both sides.” Of course, this is the aforementioned “both sides” framing. One side is afraid of people being gay and trans. The other is afraid of getting hate crimed or having children commit suicide. They are not the same.

This paragraph is a lot. He’s careful here, saying “perceived” dangers, while never challenging this idea, so that’s a pretty good way to not take a side while implying you’re right. “They don’t feel free to talk about marriage” this is one I had to double take at. I mean, I’m well aware that some conservatives and conservative sympathizers in BA feel persecuted. I guess I just didn’t know it went all the way to the top. When someone is a minority, there is a bit of a paradox when people who hate them profess their hate. For example, me, a trans person, is seen as a threat. I’m a threat to the school, to the church, to the children, just simply by being myself. But I’m also weak, I’m mentally ill, I have distorted expectations of masculinity and femininity. But be careful, you never know when I could throw the town into chaos by being trans! Like he says, the very fabric of society hangs in the balance of whether or not my gender matches my genitals.

This paragraph almost got it. Nothing he says here is necessarily wrong. But it does sort of miss the point. A lot of people in the church are not just “hurt and offended” (they absolutely are though), they DISAGREE WITH THE CHURCH ON THEIR READING OF THE DOCTRINE. This perspective is simply never represented in the article, and it’s arguably the most important part of the pro-LGBT perspective here.

This bit is also very frustrating, because the real fact of the matter is that the degree to which these issues affect me and Derek is not in any universe comparable. What’s scary is that I can’t tell if these lines were made up to try and diffuse things and make it look like we’re all suffering from some vague, universal issue, or if he genuinely believes me being a trans woman affects him “deeply and personally.” Both options are pretty unsettling. There are not “winners and losers” in pro-LGBT communities. You don’t have to talk to a single gay or trans person in your free time if you don’t want to. You don’t have to fuck them, you don’t have to be friends with them, you could have a sign on your lawn saying “I only believe in REAL marriage.” Just don’t expect to be able to carry those attitudes with you into formal or professional environments, because that’s what we call discrimination.

There’s a lot of flowery language and friendly thoughts following the previous passage, but this one quickly rears its ugly head. Derek asks us to be humble earlier, saying it is our best action we can do right now. So, please explain to me what is humble about “A church must be free to state the hard sayings of the Word while simultaneously offering itself as a safe haven for those who fall short."

So, it appears not much has changed, which is expected I suppose. I would like to address a criticism I already see coming though. I'm sure someone will say that I'm being too harsh, assuming the worst in people, being bad faith, ect. So allow me to explain myself a little here.

Basically, I think talk is cheap. You can sit there and go on about how you care about LGBT people and love your LGBT friends and stuff, but as soon as you get on the pulpit to talk about why someone's identity is wrong and harmful and your only support is your interpretation of the writings, you'll have to forgive me. But I'm afraid in that case you lost me. Because the reality is, no matter how deeply one deludes themselves into thinking this isn't the case, it's killing and harming LGBT people around the world. Places like Texas are not the worst case example of anti trans thought: they're its logical conclusion. If this was all about something like interracial marriage, I'd like to think the community would be practically on fire right now. The only reason they get away with it is that, to this town's leadership, hating LGBT people is still kind of cool.

One final note for anyone wondering what steps to take next: Do not let the conversation stop. That is exactly what these kingpins of BA want, so that people like me go back to killing themselves with a silent voice. Don't let it get there, ever again.